Friday, June 20, 2014
Letting go of infinite possibility: Day 4
There is one problem with this declaration however, my commitment isn't all that evident by my appearance. I don't feel certain that BEACHBODY wants my body as an advertisement for their product's effectiveness. I did stick the tablet sticker on the back of my tablet, but since I never use my tablet in public, no one will ever see it there. The sticker for my cell phone, which people would actually see me using, got confiscated by one of the children before I even did the first workout. I was keeping this larger laptop sticker to stick to something once I had reached my "fitness goals" (which actually means "lost a lot of weight"). The problem is that I never loose weight. I may get in better shape, but that shape is cleverly hidden beneath my layers of fat. I hold on to these layers despite my (fairly) regular and (relatively) intense exercise regime. I accomplish this feat by consuming thousands of calories more then I should, sometimes all in one day. I have no really good excuse for this sort of behavior either. I know that it is bad for my health, but darn it I bake such yummy stuff and cookie dough and cake batter are too tasty to just wash down the drain and should definitely be licked out of the bowl. Then of course I need to try the final product and see if it is as delicious as the batter or dough promised it would be. (I can only imagine how fat I would be if I didn't walk regularly, do various exercise programs, chase kids around, and do a veritable workout regime of house cleaning.)
I keep thinking that maybe this time will be different. Maybe I will change my eating habits and be able to reach these elusive "fitness goals." Holding on to that sticker was testament to that hope. Maybe I will look like I do extreme fitness someday.
I threw it away. It was cluttering my desk and like a too small dress hanging in my closet, making me feel like a failure. I can still change my eating habits but if I do I certainly won't need this sticker to advertise it if I do.